Old Brewery Mews

I'm guessing there was a brewery here, once upon a time. This was taken on Hampstead High Street, down the hill from the tube station. The hops and barrel ends that adorn the structure are particularly appealing. It's a pity there are so few breweries in London today, but at least we have these reminders of our city's beery past.


A little bit of Googling reveals that the Hampstead Brewery was founded in 1720 by a chap called John Vincent. It survived until 1932.

Plastic pissers

A couple of plastic outdoor pissers have started cropping up in Clerkenwell of an evening. These little beauties have graced the streets of Soho for some years now. They allow one to break that dreadful vicious circle: needing a piss, going in a pub to use the loo, feeling shamed into buying a pint, then leaving with a full bladder to commence the process again elsewhere. It's led me into a few unplanned pub crawl fandangos.

"Oh, and Carling"

Here's a sign I spotted outside of The Island Queen, a Mitchell & Butler pub in Islington. I like it.

Anchor Brewery

For those interested in London's brewing history, here's a photo of a plaque that lists all those who operated the Anchor Brewery in Southwark. It's attached to a grotty housing development one street back from the South Bank.

Takeaway ale

I spotted these in a Fullers pub last week: takeaway cartons for cask ale. Surely it goes all flat and horrible before you can get it home? And why are people so bloody preoccupied with getting lashed in their living rooms anyway? That's what pubs are for, people. Now get out there and stop being so anti-social, you sadsack.


If you want to enjoy cask ale at home, I suggest you buy a pub. Or you could homebrew, I suppose. But as I found out the hard way, if you do that people think you're weird.

Pink pub

The BBC has a great story today about a pub that was mysteriously painted pink while the landlord and landlady's backs were turned. Here it is. What I like most is how wonderfully old fashioned the old girl sounds: "We've never had any bother with vandals and we keep a good house here - there is never any swearing or being abusive." You're right love, the most important thing about running a pub is ensuring that no fucker swears.

That's the Spirit, Fullers

Bryan from Bateman's just dropped in to give us some old pictures of their brewery to hang on the wall. He also came bearing interesting news for those who are interested in London pubs (you're reading a blog that's primarily about pubs and London, so that's you).

Fullers - the capital's largest independent brewery - has just purchased half a dozen pubs from the Spirit Group, a subsidiary of Punch Taverns that operates managed (as opposed to leased or tenanted) houses. They include Ye Olde Mitre in Holborn - one of my own regulars haunts - and The Red Lion in Westminster. I think Fullers is a good pub operator. Its managed houses tend to be of a very high standard so this is unlikely to spell doom for the cherised boozers they've acquired.

Session beer

I love selling Harvey's Sussex Best. It's one of this country's finest ales. Every pint is a thing of beauty. What's more, it's a session beer: a strength of just 4% abv means you can have a few pints and still feel fine the next day. Unfortunately, if you have closer to ten pints then you'll feel utterly wretched when you drag yourself from your crusty bedpit. That's what it's been like for me today. I can't even look that pumpclip in the face. I've shuddered everytime I've poured a pint. This is a hangover in the Swedish tradition.

I wrote a piece about the magnificence of British session beers in May of 2007. You can read it by clicking here.

CAMRAspoons

Is CAMRA right to work with and support Wetherspoons, a company that's waging a price war on pubs across the country?

Even though I drop social clangers constantly and my mojo's missing in action, I retain some degree of self-respect (I know, it's difficult to believe). As such, I wouldn't drink in a Wetherspoons even if it were free. However, more price-driven punters flock to those wretched places thanks to the deeply discounted booze. 'Spoons outlets are places where people go to get tanked up before moving on to better, but more expensive, bars and pubs in city centres. They're a big part of Britain's problem drinking culture.

Despite all this, CAMRA seems to be very pally with the company. As CAMRA's London director reminded us in a response to my last post, they distribute discount tokens redeemable in 'Spoons to their new members. I don't care whether or not Wetherspoons sell lots of real ale: that isn't enough. With traditional British brewing no longer under threat of immediate extinction, CAMRA is supposed to have broadened its campaigning focus. Nowadays, their chat's all about saving pubs from closure. CAMRA bods are always the first to put about the scariest statistics, suggesting that no-one's local is safe. Well, I think Wetherspoons has to shoulder a large part of the blame for that. I don't understand why CAMRA are happy to work hand in glove with them.

The photo on the right, taken by me on High Holborn, shows CAMRA's price war in action.

Lučan's gone missing

In September of last year I wrote about Lučan, a Czech pivo that Wetherspoons brought to the UK pursuant to an exclusive import agreement. I tried it and thought it was winner, and asked whether this rather decent lager was worth going to a Wetherspoons for. In all honesty, it didn't swing it for me, and I haven't set foot in one of the company's depressing drinking barns since then.

Well, the question's now moot: they decided to stop selling Lučan almost immediately. The manager of one of their dirty booze outlets told me it was delisted six months ago - just a few weeks after it first went on sale (of course, in true 'Spoons style, the pump badge is still visible in lots of their pubs).

So now it's official: there's absolutely no reason to go to a Wetherspoons (unless you're a booze-addicted jakey with moths in your wallet, that is).

Big Brother is not watching you

Why don't I mention the name of my pub on this blog? I have my reasons. In any case, you can find out where it is if t'internet is your friend. Ivan, a reader, emailed me today attaching the image below. It's from "Google Street View", a website that provides photographs of (you guessed it) street-level views around the world. Well, it seems they visited my little kingdom just as our soft drinks and spirits delivery was in process (you've seen that blue lorry before).

I don't touch the stuff

If you run a pub, you need to test all your cask ales for clarity, flavour and aroma every morning. Because cask ale is living, breathing product, it's slightly unpredictable. Sometimes a beer will take longer to condition than is normal. Some beers begin to taste tired after just a day or two on sale, so you need to shift them swiftly. Believe it or not, others get better as a little bit of oxygen enters the cask. That's why it's essential to monitor what you're selling. A publican who doesn't drink cask ale, and is therefore unable to judge quality as well as his or her punters, will struggle to build up a good reputation for beer.

Here's to Cromwell

It's St Patrick's Day (you knew that). Alongside Guinness, I'm selling a cask porter from Harvey's in Lewes. It's just dawned on me how insensitive that is. Not only is Harvey's an English brewery, but in Lewes the locals famously burn a Papal effigy every year on November 5th. I might as well raise a toast to Cromwell.

Slipping the leash

Last night, for the first time, I found a Brew Dog beer on sale in a normal pub I actually drink in. Trashy Blonde, a tasty cask ale, is available as a guest at The Crown Tavern on Clerkenwell Green. We sat outside and enjoyed a couple of pints on what must have been the warmest day of 2009 so far.

I'm hoping this and the launch of Zeitgeist mean the Brew Dog boys will be concentrating on selling excellent beers suited to social drinking, rather than spending too much time on extreme brews. There's little point in pandering to the beer geek market: it's far too small and fickle.

The Crown Tavern is at 43 Clerkenwell Green (EC1R 0EG). It enjoys a commanding position in the heart of this area and is almost always busy. It's part of the Mitchells & Butlers "Castle estate". It was the subject of my first ever post. Brew Dog is a Scottish craft brewer and a sponsor of this blog.

Stonch of the dump

Sometimes, the changes this last year has brought to my life hit me hard in the face. That sensation was accompanied by a foul odour yesterday, as I stood in a high visibility jacket, turfing the contents of a white van onto a commercial dump in the shadow of Battersea Power Station. Pub cellars are normally full of crap. Mine isn't anymore, thanks to yesterday's clear out.

Here's a photo of our broken furniture mingling with other refuse. Trust me, that mountain of rubbish stank worse than the air at a CAMRA beer festival.

On the subject of CAMRA beer festivals, the London Drinker starts on Wednesday and runs until Friday. It's being held at the Camden Centre opposite St Pancras Station for the 25th year running. I might go. (Let's face it, I almost certainly won't).

Three beers

I've just been out for a few quiet beers with John O' the Dubliner. Like so many men, he wants to own his own pub. He's been getting in some practice at my place on Monday and Tuesday nights, when I make myself scarce and let him rule the roost. We toured a few choice venues in Clerkenwell: The Crown, The Slaughtered Lamb, Smiths of Smithfield and The Fox and Anchor. The best beer of the night for me was Adnams Oyster Stout, served in the last pub we visited.

Now, John's got lots of opinions on how best to run a boozer (too many, by all accounts). Tonight he asked this: if you wanted to set up a lucrative pub or bar, but you were only allowed to serve three draught beers (keg or cask), which would you serve?

After some well-lubricated deliberation, we both made our choices. What would yours be? Remember, you aren't just picking your favourites. You've got to pick the three beers that you think you could sell the most of, all things considered.

On Tuesday John will be presiding over Paddy's Day festivities at the pub. As well as Guinness, we'll be serving Harvey's Porter.

There's no such thing as a free glass

Sometimes breweries provide you with glassware for free. On the whole, however, independent publicans have paid for the glasses you hold in your hand - and they aren't as cheap as you'd think. If you take them away with you, it's theft.

Tonight I clocked a few punters outside at closing time with almost full pints. They were given the customary "drink up" warning, but then they disappeared. Two helpful customers (delightful Aussie girls) helpfully pointed out which way they'd gone. Racing to the top of the street (I'm a handy little runner), I spied them a couple of hundred yards away. When I caught up with the group and asked for my glasses back, I was subjected to a stream of abuse. So I made a grab for my property. During the altercation that ensued, one of them ended up throwing the best part of a pint of cider over himself. His girlfriend laughed at him. He just stood there, dripping with apple juice and trembling with impotent rage. I told him what kind of person he was and took my glasses home.

The moral of this story? Don't steal from publicans. We don't take kindly to it.

In all honesty, if any of them had looked vaguely hard I wouldn't have gone there. But they were gimps.

Harvey's

From next week I'll be selling Harvey's Sussex Best as my new regular session bitter. It's been surprisingly difficult to secure my supply, but the job is done and my first order's in. I want one of those proper old school, chunky pump clips (pictured), as opposed to the rubbish new ones the brewery's chosen to foist on publicans. Does anyone reading this have one they can spare? I'd be ever so grateful, so I would.

Alongside Harvey's I'll still be selling Tim Taylor Landlord and Bateman's XXXB, as well as one rotating guest beer.

Maltworms

I don't often promote the competition, but Adrian Tierney-Jones is a good lad. So take a look at his new blog, Maltworms. Adrian is a freelance journo who used to write for music magazines and be cool in the 80s (in so far as anyone was cool in the 80s), but now he writes about boring old man's shit like real ale and "countryside issues" (sinister). He's the secretary of the British Guild of Beer Writers and sometimes he organises beanos for us.

Bathtime in Clerkenwell

Discussing things with anonymous strangers on t'internet can be infuriating. But nothing is more maddening than this video. Watch it five times then see if you can remember your name.

A really, really bad idea

CAMRA has launched a discussion forum on its website. Having just spent a few minutes scanning the contents, I really don't think it's a good idea. If you've ever read the letters pages in local CAMRA fanzines, you'll be familiar with what happens when people with truly bizarre world views are given free rein to articulate their maddest thoughts.

Tourists

There's a little Italian dude in the bar wearing a green velvet smoking jacket, an orange rollneck, tight jeans and pointy shoes. On top of that he's got a grey goatie and a waxed moustache. His wife is quite attractive. They've just made my day. Thanks to a broken mobile phone and a host of unreliable suppliers, I've been lost in a miasma of Monday misery. No more. Thank heaven for tourists and the joy they bring.

Rite Flanker

It's my fault, I suppose. I knew what they'd called it. I knew what the pump badge looked like. Yet nevertheless, in the blur of panic that always seems to obscure my judgement when I'm called to make my beer order, I asked for two barrels of Wickwar Rite Flanker. I reasoned that a guest ale tying in with Six Nations might be appropriate as the tournament reaches its climax.

I put the first barrel on tonight. Despite it being a busy Friday night, we've only sold two pints in two hours. Everything else is flying out. In my time here I've never, ever seen a guest beer fare so badly. This is a prime example of a brewer making their beer an absolute loser by saddling it with a stupid name and a wanky image. I'm not even going to hint at whether or not it tastes good: that's irrelevant if no-one's willing to order it.

By the looks of it, not all of Wickwar's beers have such stupid names. The award-winning brewery, founded in 1990, is based in the Cotswolds.

And then there was none

If this pub's clientele is anything to judge by, the brewing of porter needs to make a comeback. The firkin of Harvey's Porter I put on at lunchtime just spluttered its last and joined the stack of empties beneath the cellar hatch.

Light the touch-paper, then step back

As you can see from the photo below, I've got a very special beer on tap today. (If you're in any doubt, I'm talking about the one on the the far left, next to the young lady who's dutifully polishing glasses). Today, my obligations as a publican and my desire to get absolutely seeyounexttuesdayed on one of my favourite ales will conflict. Which will win through? Tune in this evening to find out.

By "tune in this evening", I mean come to the pub and help me cane this little beauty of a Porter.

The Chocolate Block

"Can I just shock you? I like wine." That's a quote from Alan Partridge, but it applies to me. Sadly, I'm completely ignorant about boozy grape juice. Unlike most beer lovers in a similar predicament, I've got the decency to be ashamed of such an obvious shortcoming.

Andy of New Generation Wines is gradually educating me. He's our specialist wine merchant, and what's more he's become a good mate (he's an Aussie, mate). Andy's got this lovely habit of turning up unannounced with a bag full of samples, and sometimes he even has a representative from a vineyard in tow.

Yesterday he popped his head around the door and exposed us all a little beauty called The Chocolate Block. It's a gorgeous, strong, mature red from Boekenhoutskloof, a small wine farm in Safferland that was founded in 1776. It's named for for one of the flavours it offers: I really did pick up choccy in there. I'm toying with the idea of doing guest wines - just as we do guest ales - and really pushing some interesting stuff. If I do, this one will be near the top of the list.

I haven't even attempted a tasting note here. Let's face it, I rarely do that for beers either. In any case, before lashing into The Chocolate Block I'd already had a couple of post-run pints of Skinner's Spring Tide, a gorgeous golden ale from Truro. Life is good.

Wikio's UK gastronomy blog rankings

Wikio have asked me to be the first to announce their monthly "gastronomy" blog rankings for the UK. To my horror, I've slipped from number six to number nine. You fickle, fickle foodie bastards.

1 The Guardian - Word of Mouth 2 eat like a girl 3 Food Stories 4 Cheese and Biscuits 5 Spittoon 6 spittoonextra 7 A Slice of Cherry Pie 8 Ice Cream Ireland 9 Stonch's Beer Blog 10 FOOD, GLORIOUS FOOD! 11 Sour Grapes 12 The Wine Conversation 13 Bubble Brothers 14 Tamarind and Thyme 15 DOS HERMANOS 16 Tinned Tomatoes 17 Greedy Gourmet 18 Dinner Diary 19 Domestic Goddess in Training 20 Joanna's Food Ranking by Wikio.

Two empty casks

I wasn't looking forward to seeing the state of my lovely little pub after my 30th on Saturday. I could vaguely recall a cake fight (and other unmentionable instances of drunken hoonery). Luckily our cleaner came up with the goods, and the place was almost back to normal on Monday morning. There was only one reminder of the party: two empty casks from Ascot Ales - Alligator Ale and Anastasia Stout - on a knackered old wooden stillage in the back room. Great beer, great times.