Plentiful pork

We dished up lunch for over 70 people on Friday. The meals ranged from the earthy beef in ale stew to the more effete breast of duck. Chefs sweated and waitresses scuttled to deliver the fine fodder. At 3pm, when the kitchen was about to close, we received a final order. Four regulars who'd been drinking at the cosy end of the bar put in their belated request: two pork pies, two scotch eggs, two bags of pork scratchings and two bowls of chips. To my knowledge, none of them have dropped dead yet.

The fella by the window is clutching a pint of Mordue Wallsend Brown Ale, a fantastic beer that sold out in eight hours. I've got another cask lined up for tonight.