Stonch lives in London, where he runs a pub.Gemma Atkinson loves the black stuff
My recent post about Hart Brewery's dodgy pump clips caused quite a debate. There have been 55 comments so far, and this rageful response from the brewery. I even received angry emails from fans of the Damned, a 70s punk band whose guitarist, one Captain Sensible, is a big fan of Hart's beer. How very gratifying.
Regular commenter Gazza opined that "the beer's good, you don't have to drink it if you're offended by lasses...". Well, he's wrong if he thinks I'm offended by breweries employing actual women to promote beer. I'm a bloody bloke, me. It's wanky Dungeons and Dragons imagery that grates.
Let me prove it. Here's a gratuitous image of lad mag favourite Gemma Atkinson. In between photo shoots and unsuccessful acting auditions, she visited Dublin's fair city to promote Guinness. She's got a lovely smile, although I think she might have had work done on it.
If anyone has a picture of Keeley Hazell with a pint of bitter, let me know.
Information:
Regular commenter Gazza opined that "the beer's good, you don't have to drink it if you're offended by lasses...". Well, he's wrong if he thinks I'm offended by breweries employing actual women to promote beer. I'm a bloody bloke, me. It's wanky Dungeons and Dragons imagery that grates.
Let me prove it. Here's a gratuitous image of lad mag favourite Gemma Atkinson. In between photo shoots and unsuccessful acting auditions, she visited Dublin's fair city to promote Guinness. She's got a lovely smile, although I think she might have had work done on it.
If anyone has a picture of Keeley Hazell with a pint of bitter, let me know.
Information:
Gemma Louise Atkinson (official website) was born on 16 November 1984 in Bury, Greater Manchester. After a stint playing Lisa Hunter in Hollyoaks, she took up glamour modelling and has never looked back. She is currently dating Wigan striker Marcus Bent. I have contacted Gemma's agent to find out her views on sparklers and where she thinks me and the lads should go on our next pub crawl.
24 comments:
From the angle of that tap handle, I think she's offering nothing but head.
big northern lasses...
This is more like it! Good to see you aren't going all dorothy on us Stoncho
Ok Stonch, to make my point from your previous thread: I think I prefer seeing Gemma behind the bar than the regular bar tender.
If a brewery has to resort to soft porn to sell beer, then "I prefer" to see females rather than males. I was just stating my preference. I should also add that "I" would also "prefer" to see Gemma in less clothes. But then again its just my preference.
Gemma Atkinson is a glamour model, she doesn't do porn, soft or otherwise (more's the pity).
I had everything to do with those angry emails you received from Damned fans misteh Stanch. I'm on you, and your twisted approach to beer journalism. Enjoy your next beer writers convention!
Stonch, I'm just firing up my airbruch. Do you want Keeley with a squirrel's tail or not?
I couldn't resist looking at her web site given the convenient link. Her studio posed pictures are nicer. By far! Nice her eyes match her knitwear.
Oh and damn. She's one of our lasses - from Bury! All is well.
Very nice. I admire the tilt of her glass. Shame she's dating a footballer... and from Wigan... Though I guess that means he's barely a footballer...
I've never heard of this young lady. It's probably my age!
Can occasionally be seen in Bury's better eateries. Have been formally introduced to her at a charity gig, and she's certainly not unpleasant on the eye. Not a big fan of cask ale, unfortunately.
If any of you claim never to have heard of Gemma Atkinson, I truly despair...
Never trust people who think that feigning ignorance of and disdain for all popular culture makes them appear intelligent.
Yer Gemma Atkinson was posed heavily in this weekend's News Of The Screws with a pint of the black stuff, head proudly nestling by her partially-revealed embonpoint.
Re: popular kultcha, you aren't related to a couple of brothers in Boston, are you Stonch?
"Re: popular kultcha, you aren't related to a couple of brothers in Boston, are you Stonch?"
No, but I am in my twenties*, and that is going to inform what I write to some extent...
*just
You're in your twenties!!!
I can't believe I've been following your reviews trailing round Europe based on your recommendations with the understanding you were some forty year old (plus) beer expert!
I feel like those Japanese tourists who have panic attacks when they go to Paris and realize it's nothing like they'd imagined!
Nice tits, but the cold dead eyes of a killer.
And f**king Guiness too?
Danielle Lloyd wins on the "cold dead eyes" front.
If you have to convince people of your sexuality, you're probably bent.
Don't you think she'd look better with elf ears? Or would you prefer Gobblin.
"If any of you claim never to have heard of Gemma Atkinson, I truly despair..."
I'm sorry you despair. It's not feigning, I truly have not heard of her. I have an interest in popular culture but that's mainly based around music. I've never claimed to be intelligent, I'm just me.
"Don't you think she'd look better with elf ears?"
Of course, or even better like one of the aliens from the old Star Trek... You know, the ones Shatner always got... the bastid...
;-)
I mentioned this on the "awful pumpclip" debate, but I really doubt whether Capt Sensible & other Damned types would appreciate the Hart Brewery website's choice of Enrique ('Henry Church' son of 'Julian Church') Iglesias.
Nice tits, but the cold dead eyes of a killer.
Ricolas - PML!
She's only 24? You're shitting me, she must've had a hard paper round!
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