The Real Ale Twats #2 - beer from the wood
Back by popular demand, it's the Real Ale Twats from Viz.
You'll notice the Twats are drinking bottled samples of draught beer at the beginning of the story. Apparently, it's a not uncommon practice among the "ticking" fraternity to surreptitiously bottle measures from pubs and festivals for later consumption. Strange behaviour if you ask me, but to each their own.
Later in the tale you can't help but sympathise with them. Who hasn't been served a pricey, watered-down pint of fizzy in a Soho clip joint? Just don't believe anything the girls tell you at the door. It's Big Alvin downstairs who calls the shots. My mate Charlie knows what I'm on about.
The expression "beer from the wood" comes into play. If you want to know what that's all about, check out the Society for Preservation of Beers from the Wood ("SPBW"), an organisation similar to CAMRA, except that nobody's heard of them. If you want to drink beer from the wood, you don't need to annoy a barman in a strip club - Sam Smith's still use oak barrels for all their cask ale (pictured left).
Thanks again to Gazza Prescott for the scans.
[Read #1 here]
[Read #3 here]
11 comments:
good to see the word 'mayhap' in use
I have heard of them. Light the candle and drink till its out. good tradition.
I've bottled draught beer in a pub, but there was nothing surreptitious about it. Sometimes I had to ask the landlord if I could borrow a funnel.
It's a method of getting do-it-yourself bottle-conditioned beer - just prime with sugar and leave for a few days and it should be nicely conditioned.
I guess with the range of bottle-conditioned beers it now commercially available it isn't as necssary any more.
I'm coming up with strong arguments for being a twat, aren't I? Perhaps (or should that be mayhap?) the third installment will have something to confirm my twatiness. Can't wait.
There are not nearly enough "twat" related headlines. Keep up the good work.
If CAMRA were vegetarians then SPBW would be militant vegans!
If CAMRA were vegetarians, then I'd be Josef Stalin.
Ron - you already are in my mind. A grey blur, as he surges to the bar for his next one.
Spray on food particles with soup, hahahahaha that's priceless.
"This is unbelievable" is the exclamation upon finding the pint is short 2ml, NOT that they're being showered with ping pong balls fired out of a strippers fanny.
Brilliant.
Talking of beer from the wood a friend of mine, Ron Wood, once recycled overnight the contents of a Watneys Party Four (remember those?) through his kidneys and called the result "Beer from the Wood". The colour was better, the aroma - well it smelled which is more than the original did but nobody had the nerve to try it on the palate. I suspect it had a flavour (of what I wouldn't like to say) which, again, is more than the original did.
You'll see the collectors at fests, usually early in the door just behind the beer mat collectors - this group appear to be rocket-powered roller skates as they vie to get the best mats - they all look furtive, always bag a seat, and have one of those old BEA shoulder bags, which is the right shape to hold out several rinsed-out 1-pt milk cartons, into which they will decant some of their half of purchased beer, all the while believing they are invisible to the casual observer.
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